Now what do I do?  I have 2 kids and no milk.  Feeding these 2 kids is getting expensive and I STILL have no milk for kefir.  Could things really have turned out this way?  Oh yes, they certainly did.

The only thing I could think of was to get another milk goat.  That was there was at least milk for the kids.  And, once the kids were weaned there would be milk for us.  And, the search began... Again...

I was able to find a milk goat that was only located about 4 hours away.  Problem one: she had a kid of course.  No biggie, I can sell the kid when he is old enough.  Problem 2: how to convince my dad to let me use the Prius to go get them.  I surely didn't want to take the truck that only gets 15 mpg when the Prius gets 50.  My car is a 2 door so no way to load a full size goat.

I armed the Prius with plastic sheeting and lots of towels and set out on my journey.  I stopped on the way and picked up a friend to enjoy the ride with me.  We arrived at our location with a bit of difficulty and then problem 3 reared it's ugly head.  This milk goat I came to buy had a daughter that she has never been separated from and they are SO bonded it would be a tragedy to make them part ways.  I said, no no no!  They poured it on stronger.  My friend didn't help things out much either.

We can skip straight to the loading process.  Have you ever seen 5 (FIVE) goats in a Prius?  Yes, it's possible.  I know because I did it.  The 'daughter' had 2 kids of her own.  I ended up getting 5 goats for $130.  This was all of the cash I had and they were more than happy to accept it for the whole crew.  They even threw in a mineral feeder and some cheese they had made from their milk.

What am I going to tell my dad???  I was supposed to be coming home with 2 goats not FIVE.  The car survived the trip without incident.  But, I knew right away that these goats were not going to be the same as MY goats.  The 'daughter' had the worst voice I had ever heard and she was very liberal with it's use.  She also thought it fun to play chase.  That means we chase her forever trying to catch her to put her to bed.

It was day 3 by the time there was any silence from Sylvia (the daughter).  I knew that this goat would never be my goat.  She drove me MAD.  Trying to catch her to put her on the milking stanchion was another challenge that I would rather have passed on.  Once she was on the stanchion it was no better.  I spent at least an hour 3 times a day trying to get milk from these goats.  It seems that I have found more defective goats.

Peek-a-Boo (the mom and original goat I went to buy) was easier to handle but I didn't like how she treated MY goats.  I didn't like her sense of entitlement either.  I didn't have to catch her to get her on the stanchion though.  She had been milked before.  That was the story and I don't know how willing I was to believe that at the given moment.

 My sleeves were wet but there were only a few drops of milk in the pail.  I got so desperate I resorted to Youtube videos to get pointers.  None of this helped.  I bought a special raincoat with velcro sleeves to try to keep the milk from squirting down my arms.

After 2 weeks of torture I decided to branch out.  I contacted a person affiliated with a goat association for info.  It turns out you are supposed to separate the kids at night if you actually expect to get any milk from the dams.  What a concept.  Yes, I'm THAT stupid!

This certainly helped but Sylvia was a nightmare to milk.  The stream of milk that came out was more like a fine mist.  My hands were so swollen I could barely bend them.  Her teats were so small I could only milk with 2 fingers.  But, that's okay.  I had already posted an ad on Craigslist to sell her.  That only took me a week!  I could not stand that goat!!  She was the first to leave and what a happy day that was.

It was a happy day until I realized that I had to feed her 2 kids now.  I decided that I couldn't stand them either.  I literally had to pry their mouths open, insert the bottle, hold their mouth closed and work their jaws to get milk down them.  I was counting down the days until their departure.  Luckily, I had sold them as Easter presents and all 3 of them were going to the same home.  This was still a few weeks away unfortunately.

Next to leave was Peek-a-Boo.  The way this went down is almost unbelievable.  There was an ad on Craigslist for someone wanting to trade for a milk goat.  She had a purebred Nubian and we ended up trading straight across.  I unloaded a less than desirable (for my tastes) goat and gained a purebred beauty!  All of that misery and torture paid off!!

Now I had 3 kids to force feed but the time eventually passed and things were back to normal.  I had extra cash and a milk goat of good breeding.  Until the kids were gone I used the milk from my new goat (Countess) to feed them.